Joan Rispa

Lately, I come to see the sense in the song It’s a Man’s World as every single day, I wake up and feel like a tenant who has peacefully co-existed with her landlord. I have to admit, the feminist in me finds this to be unsettling and while there are days to march on the streets, this season has been one where I felt defeated. At the beginning of this year, I was among the women who in seething anger took to the streets to cry and chant ‘Stop Killing Us!’ during the femicide march. And yet today, I still need to shout the same chant as if I were the tenant begging the landlord for an extension in time before I pay my dues.

What dues do I have to pay? Well, it varies from day to day. On most days, I have to dress in a manner that pleases the man without getting him too excited. I have to ensure that when I speak, I have to tow an imaginary line where it is expected that I am always nice, polite, and kind. I have to be back within the confines of my house because why am I out past a certain hour? I can be anything that I want to be so long as I get validation from a man.

I am disappointed in the justice system. Sure, we are plagued with problems such as corruption but if we are being really honest, we are not dealing with the thieves or any other cases in a way that would justify the number of murderers walking around. It took over 5 years for Monica Kimani to find justice and so we probably have to wait another 5 for Rebecca Cheptegei to get any justice. A celebrated athlete who ran in the Olympics will now be remembered not because she trained for years to become a pro athlete but because she was killed by her boyfriend who is yet to be arrested. 5 years for the perpetrators to roam and wander like the proper landlords that they are. 5 years of anguish and grief to the victim’s family as they tirelessly go to court; year in and year out keeping the painful memory of their daughters alive hoping for closure.

This is a man’s world and we are all just living in it. But this is exactly why we need more men to come on board as allies. More men to get enraged and share in our common pain. More men calling out their fellow men.